Slasher Remakes Are Out to Kill Our Childhood

All good things come to an end... sometimes bloodied by killers with an ax. Those killers are characters we have been familiar with since our childhoods, imprinted on us in the form of storybooks or movies/television.

Those killers are none other than Winnie the Pooh and Mickey Mouse of all things.

As many of you know, Winnie the Pooh and Mickey Mouse are two respective characters that have entered the public domain during the 2020s.

As a result, Disney will no longer own all the complete adaptation rights to the two characters. Mickey’s copyright, more specifically, only applies after the early thirties. So, Mickey in early sound cartoons such as "Steamboat Willie" are in the public domain, while a movie like "Fantasia" remains within the Walt Disney Company’s grasp.

For one, what is disappointing is that the Disney Company did not try to renew the copyright to Mickey’s early years. Wasn’t "Steamboat Willie" one of the first times audiences got wide exposure to the Mickey Mouse character, and didn’t that help to cement Walt Disney’s name in the world of animation?

Sure, Mickey Mouse is now worth a billion dollars, and Disney is losing billions of dollars because of their early 2020s losses. However, arrangements could be made, even if that means making sacrifices on a property level.

Disney could just get rid of 20th Century Fox and put the studio right back where they found it as it was a wholly unnecessary purchase anyway (Fox wasn’t even struggling financially).

In addition to that, they sell Lucasfilm back to the Fox company. "Star Wars" fans would love that!

Using that money from selling back Fox and Lucasfilm, the Walt Disney Company can renew the copyright to their own mascot, Mickey Mouse.

The fact that Disney did not bother to get the Mouse back is quite concerning. After all, it is their own mascot! It is the founding mouse and perhaps the most famous and endearing symbol of the entire company! Why not get the early rights to Mickey back?

But nope, Mickey is not the symbol of Disney anymore. That is "Star Wars" and "MARVEL" (though those are on the decline anyway).

In the sports world, this would basically be the equivalent of the Philadelphia Eagles football team deciding to not use the Eagle as their mascot anymore but not picking anything that resembles their team symbol.

Okay, that is a bit of a stretch, but the problem is still there. Mickey belongs to Disney, and they should realize that.

Which means now that the younger Mickey no longer belongs to his own company, then his image is now left for the public to use for whatever they please.

Granted, the average Joe could probably give Mickey more respect than the modern Disney company would... until you factor in the slasher remakes.

Yes, like "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey," now Mickey Mouse is getting the slasher treatment. As a temporary gag, this is hilarious, and the old Mickey with all dark eyes would be extremely creepy, especially if he is running at you with a knife.

That said, perhaps it’s best these beloved cartoon characters do not get a darker slasher treatment... please.

Winnie the Pooh and Mickey Mouse are endearing symbols that transcend time and are extremely popular with children. How often do we see kids carrying around some Mickey Mouse stuffed animals or other merch? Or potentially taking pictures with Pooh at Disney World (think about this sentence REALLY HARD, it is funny!)

Morally, this could also be troublesome for children. For one, the last thing that parents need to do is shield their kids from Winnie and Pooh and Mickey of all things, as if finding kid-friendly options outside of "Bluey" and "Paw Patrol" was not bad enough.

Not to mention, children should welcome these “murderous additions” into their world, because they should embrace something that not only brings joy and warm feelings but also good heroes that leave an impression on the young.

What children need is comfort and hope, not fear. But fear of what should bring comfort is wrong. So, in a way, these slasher remakes should be 110% WRONG.

Suppose a child wakes up one morning ready to watch "Tom and Jerry" on TV, but now is forbidden to because “Jerry ended up putting a fork in Tom’s eyes and left a bloody mess everywhere.” No more cat-and-mouse shenanigans for kiddo.

Do we really want future generations of children to grow up thinking that the characters that are supposed to be endearing are gruesome murderers? We must think about how this realistically imprints on the young, and it could lead to dangerous implications.

Worse yet, according to rumors, now supposedly Pinocchio is getting slasher treatment, in addition to Bambi potentially having a murder-revenge movie. How much is too much?

What is next? Donald Duck goes full onslaught and murders Pluto for peeing on his flowerbed? Mary Poppins pulls a machine gun out of her umbrella and starts mowing down those cartoon penguins? Todd from "Fox and the Hound" decides to kill all dogs and that annoying badger? Or Goofy turns to a life of crime? Get the point yet?

"Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey" was only funny as a brief gag, but now Pandora’s Box has been opened. Our childhoods are being axed while future generations of children will never grasp the true magic of what was once special.

If Disney were smart, they would have acquired whatever cash they had to renew their beloved mascot’s rights back. But instead, they left him in the dirt instead. No wonder he turned into a psychopath.

The mock slasher movie, "Mickey Mouse Trap," is currently set for a current 2024 release. Time for our childhoods to die... again.

Logan M. Sharp is a fourth-year majoring in film production. To contact him, email lxs5590@psu.edu.