Penn State’s Human Development and Family Studies department hosts Alua Arthur for public session

UNIVERSITY PARK, Pa. — On Wednesday, Oct. 15, New York Times best-selling author Alua Arthur shared about her life experiences and shed some insight into the career workings of being a death doula, as well as what her life and professional experiences have taught her.

A death doula is a non-medical professional who assists in the dying process and the emotional and spiritual burdens it often carries.

Death doulas work closely with families and those going through the dying process to create comprehensive plans for the individual's belongings and legacy after their passing as well as assisting in any way that they can to ease the worries and pain of the individuals while they are still here.

“This is a line of work that often finds you, rather than the other way around,” said Arthur.

Arthur, in her book “Briefly Perfectly Human,” hopes that through her line of work, and through having more open, meaningful conversations about death, individuals can better understand themselves.

“We can learn from the fear of death and what that has to say about our lives,” said Arthur. More often than not, the most painful regrets that fellows whomst Arthur works with carry is that they had not done more in their lives.

Arthur finds that rarely do folks carry regrets as to what they did. Even more enlightening, regretful actions can be amended, even whilst on one’s deathbed. Apologies can be offered, amendments can be made. But no amount of regret can put somebody back in their shoes to take a chance they wished they could have.

The biggest category of regret carried is regretting not doing something.

Arthur hopes that this underlying sentiment reaches her audiences and anyone else her words come across to inspire change. One positive the fear of death carries with it is the implicit truth that there is still time.

Reasonably, Arthur’s line of work is not one without emotion. When answering a question pertaining to the level of attachment she reaches with the clients she works with, Arthur answered that it breaks her heart every time.

She finds that people on death’s doorstep are amongst the most honest and truest versions of themself and that their genuine words and demeanor make every experience she takes on all the more painful.

However, she does not despair at seeing them go, as Arthur finds great reward in her line of work, viewing it as a way to empower the agency of those on death's door whose desires are not often heard, whether that be by family members or medical staff.

She finds that this is especially prevalent amongst children, and her role can often take shape as being a personal advocate for the individual with whom she is working.

Death is not easy, nor is it fun. But Arthur sees our relationship towards it, and its essential role in everyone’s life to be an opportunity to better understand one’s place in the world and the life one chooses to live.

Arthur left the attendees of her conversation with one question.

“What can death bring you closer to?”

Trip Tagle is a second-year majoring in digital and print journalism. To contact them, please email tnt5403@psu.edu.