Building an NBA starting five of WWE wrestlers

Slam dunks are one of the most exciting plays in basketball. But there is one other sport that involves slamming something, professional wrestling.

Professional wrestling and basketball have connected at points, with stars showing up on WWE television to be both a good and bad guy. Such as Jalen Brunson and Tyrese Haliburton squaring up in the middle of the ring with Logan Paul and LA Knight during a show in Madison Square Garden.

But what if the professional wrestlers swapped roles with the NBA players? Here is my NBA starting five of WWE wrestlers.

Point Guard: Rey Mysterio

Booyaka Booyaka, we lead off the squad with a WWE Hall of Famer and all-time wrestling great Rey Mysterio.

The three-time world champion is the perfect person to play the point for our team. Mysterio is incredibly athletic, which would allow him to make incredible moves on the basketball court.

Mysterio is also a Royal Rumble winner, and he held the record for the longest time surviving in a Royal Rumble wrestling for just over two hours. This stamina would be great for the game of basketball, allowing him to play a long time without needing a substitute.

In addition to his singles accomplishments, Mysterio has also won five tag-team championships. This would make him an excellent person to pair up with an alley-oop partner. We will get to his oop partner very soon.

The only downside to Mysterio is his lack of size, but short point guards such as Chris Paul and Muggsy Bouges have had success in the NBA. Mysterio would be underestimated, which would be perfect as he would pull out moves opponents deemed impossible.

Now to move onto our shooting guard, someone who hears and listens to the voices in his head.

Shooting Guard: Randy Orton

The Apex Predator and fourteen-time world champion will play the two in our squad.

Orton is known for his finishing move, the RKO. I believe that Orton can transition this move into an incredible alley-oop dunk finish.

The RKO can come out of nowhere in a wrestling ring. If Orton can transition his out-of-nowhere style to the court he could be an incredible defender, stealing the ball without an opponent being aware of his presence.

Orton also hears voices that “counsel and understand him.” His being possibly psychotic would make him feared on the court, which could lead players to make mistakes in fear.

Orton would be a good addition, but there may be chemistry issues with the small forward in our squad.

Small Forward: John Cena

Hustle, loyalty and respect are perfect for our small forward spot. Although he may not be able to coexist with Randy Orton due to their past rivalries.

Regardless of the rivalries the WWE’s goat is the perfect person to play the same position as the NBA’s goat Lebron James. Cena is tied for the most world championships in professional wrestling with 16.

Cena has been dubbed “big match” John by the people, you don’t get this nickname by not showing up in big matches. Naturally, this would translate to the court and Cena could become one of the most clutch performers in the NBA.

Cena is also one of the most durable wrestlers in the WWE, this would be great in an era of the NBA where players have to manage their workload in order to play a full season.

All in all, Cena is one of the most polarizing figures in sports, and he would become the face of the NBA as soon as he stepped foot in the league. His championship prowess would be key in leading our squad to the championship.

Now let’s move on to the front court.

Power Forward: Batista

We need an animal to be our physical presence on the court, and Bautista fits that role to a tee.

While he may be more than just a professional wrestler nowadays, Batista still has the physique to play bully ball in the paint. Batista stands at 6-foot-6, weighing 290 pounds. That physical makeup would be important for getting both blocks and rebounds.

I could see Batista being a Draymond Green type of player for our team, the big man has been the enforcer for multiple stables and factions throughout his career. That being said, I believe he would fill the enforcer role on our team just like he did in the squared circle.

This squad needed size to compete in today’s NBA, and having a guy like Batista would be huge for us. He also brings some star power due to his work as an actor in the Marvel universe.

Batista isn’t the tallest player on our squad though, that man fills the center role.

Center: The Undertaker

The Deadman will take the final spot on the court for our squad. He will certainly look to make our opponent's chances of winning to rest in peace.

The Undertaker has actual basketball experience, playing for Texas Wesleyan in his early life. At 6-foot-9, the Deadman could match up with some of the centers he would face in the NBA.

Apart from basketball experience, Undertaker has a supernatural ability to blackout an entire arena whenever he wishes. This would make it virtually impossible for any team to shoot a game-winner against the team as he could just turn the lights out.

The fear factor also works for Undertaker, as he strikes fear into the hearts of his opponents just by the sound of a bell. This could be used to throw opponents off while they attempt to shoot a free throw.

This squad features some of the greatest professional wrestlers ever, and I believe they could take over the basketball world one slam at a time.

Luke Stefanisko is a first-year majoring in broadcast journalism. To contact him, email ljs6415@psu.edu.