Big Ten Basketball: Starting 5 made from mascots

With college hoops finally underway this year, I thought it would be interesting to look at what the Big Ten conference mascots would look like as a starting five in basketball.

Full disclaimer, there is a lot of interpretation that will go into making this lineup so bear with me as I do my best to give my reasoning for why I put each mascot where they are. I will also be appointing myself as head coach for this team as I feel I have a very strong understanding of these mascots’ capabilities on the court.

With that being said, let us dive right into your starting lineup for the Big Ten.

Point Guard - Dubs

A live animal mascot, is this even allowed?

Yes. My list, my rules.

My reasoning for this pick is of course the beloved film Air Bud. I have a lot of faith that I would be able to replicate some of Air Bud's success with Dubs seeing as I was a dog sitter in high school. I feel as if this makes me more than qualified to make this pup my protege and prime facilitator of this team. I would say the NBA player comparison I give Dubs is Chris Paul.

I see the husky being more of a pass-first guard and racking up the assists every night for the team.

Shooting Guard - Tommy Trojan

With these next three selections, you will see a common theme. Tommy Trojan will start the trend though at the shooting guard position. Tommy is in great shape as he is clearly well-conditioned.

He knows what heartbreak feels like after Penn State kicker Ryan Barker drilled a game-winning field goal earlier this football season, so he can help the team when we go through an inevitable rough patch. This is going to be my motivator and team captain of the squad.

When it comes to comparisons, I see shades of Kobe Bryant. Both bring high-intensity defense to their teams and push everyone to be their best during practices and games.

Small Forward - Sir Henry

Have you picked up on the trend yet? If you have not, hopefully after the next mascot you will, but for now let us discuss Sir Henry.

Rutgers really brings something special to the table here, with our guy Henry being knighted. Truly an honor of the highest regard and something I believe no other basketball team in the country would be able to share with us.

I have Sir Henry at the small forward spot since I feel he is a bit taller and leaner than Tommy Trojan. I see Sir Henry being more offense-minded as well, especially from beyond the arc. This will be my main source of offense, my bucket getter if you will.

Henry is going to cook the competition like there is no tomorrow and most likely win the Naismith College Player of the Year award.

Player comparison is none other than the king, LeBron James. They ask me who my goat is.

Sir Henry.

Power Forward - Sparty

For those of you who are still lost, muscular mascots in armor are my key to victory. I personally would not want to run into any of these guys off the court, let alone have to go against them in a game of basketball. Sparty is the biggest of the trio I have created, giving him the role of power forward on this fictitious all-time team.

Sparty is most definitely a high-flyer and will be throwing it down on the opposition once this team touches the hardwood. This is also a defensive selection, as his stature and physique will definitely make it hard for the opponents to get into the paint with him close by.

Player comparison is prime Blake Griffin. If you loved watching the “Lob City” Clippers, you have seen nothing yet.

Center - Herbie Husker

Herbie will be bringing old-school basketball back to life with his style of play. His sole purpose?

Rebound.

Herbie will sit in the paint, grab rebounds, and dish it out to either Sir Henry to score or Dubs to further facilitate the ball. This is the key to my game plan, as I feel it is crucial to grab rebounds in order to win basketball games.

The easiest comparison for this style of play is Dennis Rodman, and I see this as a perfect fit.

Of course, a good basketball team starts with the first guys off the bench. Our notable guys consist of our spark plug, the Penn State Nittany Lion and lockdown defender from Maryland, Testudo. The final key piece is our backup center, Purdue Pete.

As we all know, Purdue pushes out seven-footers left and right, and their mascot fits the bill as well.

The only issue with this team is the strong bitter rivalries between a lot of these schools. I fear that may cause this team to be upset early in a March Madness run, but with some team therapy and counseling, I have faith we would be able to pull it together in order to come out on top.

Charles Wesolowski is a first-year majoring in journalism. To contact him, email cjw6772@psu.edu.