“Abbott Elementary” Season 3, Episode 1 Review

Welcome back! Times are healing! “Abbott Elementary” is back and is here to stay! Wednesday nights just became the best nights of the entire week.

The season 3 premiere was an hour-long special, and truly this hour was not enough. The world has been missing “Abbott” for far too long now, the only way to really heal is to have it as a 24-hour special.

There was concern about “Abbott Elementary” filming and the release date due to the SAG-AFTRA strike, but thankfully the stars aligned and everything is ready to go from here on out.

Coming back on the air, “Abbott Elementary” is now officially an Emmy-nominated mockumentary and Quinta Brunson is officially an Emmy-awarded actress for this comedy series.

The episode opens with Career Day, and we are immediately informed that Janine Teagues has taken a job at the district level. Hold up, what?

Thankfully, the writers provided a flashback and some context for understanding what the heck was going on. Essentially, Abbott Elementary received three new district members that have bright eyes and colorful dreams.

These three new characters are played by Josh Segarra, Kimia Behpoornia and Benjamin Norris. Off the start, these new district workers are annoying and frankly too Gen hip to be working at Abbott.

Manny (played by Segarra) informs Janine about a fellowship opportunity with the district, where she can make her dreams about Philadelphia education come true. Initially Janine turns it down, but clearly she ends up taking it later on in the episode.

There’s also development with Ava Coleman, and apparently during the break between season 2 and 3 she became a real human and real principle. Although this seems beneficial to Abbott Elementary, it actually is doing more harm than good.

Ava is basically a dictator to put it simply, making sure that everyone is functioning at their best. Barbara Howard and Melissa Schemmenti put a stop to this by playing Ava’s favorite rap song that realigns the neurons in her brain.

Melissa and Gary the vending machine guy are still actively dating, and Gary keeps dropping hints about marriage. There's a slight issue - Melissa absolutely never wants to marry again and has made that very clear.

Already so much is happening in this episode, and the writers haven’t even mentioned the horrific emotional ending of season 2 between Gregory and Janine. Apparently Ava has had spy cameras placed in Gregory’s room and an extremely pivotal moment between Janine and Gregory is shown through these low quality cameras.

Janine and Gregory, somehow, took a step backward in their relationship. This moment alone has killed any romantic hope that possibly could have existed, and valentine's day is literally in a week.

Nonetheless, the episode finally picks up at present day - Career Day, which is fully created and run by Janine in her new district position. Janine has given every teacher a special career person that is specific to their favorite things.

Gregory has a botanist in his room for Career Day, Melissa has a marketing guy from the Eagles football team, and Jacob has Mr. Johnson. Praise Jacob for his niche love for janitors, because new Mr. Johnson lore was unlocked in this episode and it really shifted the earth off its axis.

Now the episode is an hour long, but the fun has barely even started. The last 20 minutes of this season premier absolutely make the show shine for everything it is.

Jalen Hurts and Jason Kelce make a cameo in the episode. Viewers everywhere hit the ground, shocked by the development that has occurred. At this rate, Beyonce will be joining Ava as principal.

Sadly after this spectacular life changing cameo, Melissa declined Gary’s proposal. They broke up. All the romantic relationships have terrible starts for this season. What on God's beautiful great green Earth is going on?

The best part of this episode would absolutely be when Gregory leans up about the door frame and flexes his arm. This scene appeared in the trailer, and thank God it appeared in the episode to show the full glory of Tyler James Williams.

Overall, this season premiere did a phenomenal job in setting up what will be a whirlwind for season 3 at “Abbott Elementary.” The relationships are all on the rocks, Janine has a new job at the district and Gregory is looking extremely attractive.

As Janine said in the episode - “ate that, consumed it.”

Grace Bowman is a second-year majoring in biology. To contact her, email gab5585@psu.edu.