The Clemson act of Bill Belichick: The Movie

Hello Bill. It’s nice to see you again.

It does not seem as though things have gotten better since the first check-in. Following North Carolina’s 48-14 loss against TCU to open the season, the Tar Heels beat Charlotte and Richmond handily before getting drubbed 34-9 by UCF.

With a 2-3 record, Belichick had a chance at his first signature win at the collegiate level, hosting Dabo Sweeney and the Clemson Tigers.

Well, “signature” may be a stretch.

Clemson entered the season as the #4-ranked team in the nation, led by Heisman-favorite quarterback Cade Klubnik.

Their season took a North Carolina-level turn, however, losing their opening game to LSU and getting upset by Georgia Tech and Syracuse in back-to-back weeks.

So, heading into this game against UNC, Clemson is limping with a 1-3 record. The offense had looked all out of sorts, Klubnik was playing wildly inconsistent, and it seemed as though Sweeney would be gone after this season.

Here we go Bill. I’m pulling for you. I know your squad has yet to look great this year, but neither has Clemson. Sure, you might be a 13.5-point underdog, but there have been crazier upsets to happen this season.

Let's get this game underway.

Clemson opens with possession. On the first play, Klubnik throws a swing pass to receiver Antonio Williams. The Tar Heel defense is all over it. With nowhere for Williams to go, this will certainly be a loss of yards.

That is, if he keeps the ball.

Williams launches a 75-yard touchdown pass to T.J. Moore. The Tiger trickery to open the contest gives them an early 7-0 lead.

This is going to be a long day, isn’t it?

Clemson scored a touchdown on each of their four possessions in the first quarter. By halftime, the score was 35-3.

Students are pouring out of Kenan Memorial Stadium. They cannot bear to watch their Tar Heels get demolished again. Belichick stares blankly on the sideline. It looks as though he wants to join them.

There’s nowhere to go, Bill.

Clemson would win 38-10. By the time the clock hit triple zeros, the stands were only filled with orange shirts and the Tar Heel band. North Carolina fans didn’t stay for the end. There were nearly no witnesses.

I’m sure Bill would have liked it better that way.

The Clemson offense, which had yet to find a groove this season, flourished. Klubnik finished with 254 yards and four touchdowns, throwing only two incompletions.

The Tigers recorded 488 yards of offense, the third time this season the North Carolina defense has allowed 350 or more yards in a game.

Out of North Carolina’s 12 offensive possessions, five ended in a three-and-out. They ran for just 57 yards. Despite having the ball for 27:35, the Tar Heels managed just 10 points, with seven of them coming while already down by 35.

Miraculously, North Carolina did not turn the ball over all game. They did not play sloppily, but rather flatly. They were outmatched, plain and simple.

So now what? This is now the second time North Carolina has been dismantled at home this season. Every time it seems that this program and Bill Belichick has reached rock bottom, they get handed a shovel.

The Tar Heels play ACC competition for the rest of the season, and at this rate, it’s unlikely they will win more than one of those games. Is there any semblance of optimism?

Maybe there is one. Before the season, Hulu announced that they would produce a season-long documentary about Belichick and the Tar Heels. After the 2-3 start and mass dysfunction within the organization, Hulu has backed out, scrapping the idea.

They don’t want anyone to watch this movie either.

Brendan Kern is a second-year majoring in broadcast journalism. To contact him, please email him at bwk5372@psu.edu.